How Do You Know If It’s Time To Write Your Book?

Tell the truth: how many times has someone told you “My god, you need to write a book”? How many times have you thought it yourself? How often do you lay awake at night, dreaming of seeing your words laid out on the page? How many times have you wondered …

A Love Letter For Hopeful Hearts

Dear one.  This is not an easy world in which to live as the owner of a hopeful heart.  Not an easy time to build a home safe enough to hold the immensity of your own tenderness.  The last few years were not so much built for believing. And yes, …

Ten Lessons From My Solo Trip To Scotland

Two years and a thousand lifetimes ago today I was getting on the plane to Scotland. I was 44 years old and had never traveled outside North America, let alone traveled for longer than a weekend fully on my own.  I had no idea then that the world would implode …

You Are Not On This Earth To Be A Living Apology

No more apologies.  Not one more.  You are not on this earth to be a living apology.  None of us are.  Yes. We fuck up. Every last one of us.  And yes, there is grounding to be found in committing to the hard and holy work of trying to make …

Know The Source Of Your Own Medicine

Get quiet love. Get real quiet.  I know you’re exhausted and frazzled and ten different kinds of underwater and upside down. It’s go-go-go and don’t you dare stop and keep all the balls in the air all the time and frantic tears at midnight and a longing for something nameless …

It’s time to stop waiting for permission

Where are you still waiting for permission? To leave, to run, to quit, to stop, to yell, to get angry, to rejoice, to dance, to sing, to fuck, to break, to mend, to come undone, to end, to begin, to scream, to cast spells, to call in what you want, …

amen to your perfectly needy heart.

We humans, we are needy as fuck. It’s how we’re made. But somewhere along the way, we buy into the idea that we shouldn’t need so much. Shouldn’t want so hard. Put on the armor.Place another brick on the wall.Practice your poker face.Never let ’em see you sweat. You’ve probably …

Come Out Of The Closet (Your Body Is Here To Feel Good)

Once upon a time I got embroiled in the comments section of a thread written by a woman I admired. She railed against polyamory as trauma bonding, no different from humans who enjoy a ‘vending machine of lovers’ and avoiding real connection — claiming that ‘sacred union’ was only possible in the …

Don’t Be A Menace (You Must Create)

Have you seen the movie “Where’d You Go, Bernadette”? I love this film. Aside from the fact that Cate Blanchette is most certainly forever my Personal Icon Of Style and unknowing Official Third Wife (following Kate McKinnon and Brandi Carlile), her character Bernadette is also me.  Or at least she’s …

You Are Allowed To Receive

“All day long I expendI hold together, I lift up, I give outI pour life for the food supply, irrigate crops in my mouthIt is a rare occasion where I just take in.” Lauren Zuniga, Submissive. Dear Human You are allowed to receive. No. You don’t have to have a …

On The Days You’re Feeling Tender

Listen. If you’re feeling tender this morning, just let yourself be tender. If life feels a little rough or raw around the edges, don’t try to soften yourself to make the others more comfortable. If your skin feels like it’s on inside out, wrap yourself in your favorite sweater like …

2021 Prescription

No new years resolutions for me this year.No flowery poetry.No broad declarations or rash promises or wild intentions.Not a single promise to the universe or to another. Just my own prescription for wholeness.By me. For me. Nothing but a steady reminder & a wild handful of hope and a dash …

Shout out my fellow single parents.

This is a shout out to my fellow single parents out there… This shit is hard. I want to write something eloquent and heartfelt with a side of gentle humor. But I can’t really muster that right now. And also, I’m thinking that instead of waiting for me to collect all …

pleasure is the *ultimate* muse.

truth: pleasure is the *ultimate* muse. Tell me this:When is the last time you felt good? Really good. Down to your bones. When did you last taste your own ecstasy, take it into your mouth and swallow it into your being? How long has it been since your skin sang …

I am entirely badass even in the midst of all this clusterfuckery.

REPEAT AFTER ME: ⁠ I am entirely badass even in the midst of all this clusterfuckery. Today we are going to own that, you and I. ⁠⁠We have to. ⁠⁠We need to. ⁠⁠We deserve to. ⁠⁠Because core woundings are hella brutal. Because uncertainty is a mother fucker. ⁠⁠ Because every …

I’m not interested in your well-behaved women.

“Well-behaved women seldom make history.” Laurel Thatcher Ulrich I’m not interested in reading about “well behaved” women. No nice girls for me.  Give me your outcasts and your witches. Your dykes and your butches and every last one who refused to conform to the script they were handed at birth. …

In The After: All The Ways I Will Love You Then

Imagine you showed up at my door, and it wasn’t the before time when we didn’t know, or the now time when we still don’t, but the mysterious after we can only imagine, when we’ll finally have something solid to rest inside. What if you came to me then, in …

We All Want. Beyond Sense. Beyond Safety. Beyond All.

“She was inexperienced enough to assume what they had was love because she wanted him, and want can be a hundred times stronger than need, and a thousand times stronger than common sense… Desire, if handled incorrectly, could become a curse” Magic Lessons – Alice Hoffman Who among us hasn’t …

You Are Not It.

“Everything about her seems to be saying, Listen, if you don’t look attentively, if you don’t go beyond my simplicity to detect the simmering volcano in me, you are not it.”  Rawi Hage, Carnival They come for me seeking a one-dimensional cardboard cutout they’ve created in their head.  This projection of …

where there is shame, there is no pleasure.

Où il y a de la gêne, il n’y a pas de plaisirWhere there is shame, there is no pleasure.  This is what I know to be true: 1. Your body is a good, good body and infinitely worthy of worship. 2. Pleasure is your birthright and the doorway to creation itself. 3. You, and only …

You, my dear human, deserve to take up so much space in this world.

Has anyone ever tried to convince you that fashion was frivolous? That self-expression through clothes or makeup or accessories was a waste of time? That your selfies were a desperate grasp for validation? That feeling beautiful or sexy or just damn good in your own skin wasn’t a worthy pursuit? …

Yes, Chocolate Is A Love Language

How can you love me, let me count the ways… Good morning texts. When I roll over, blurry from sleep and still staggering the divide between dreams and reality, and reach for my phone to silence my alarm, I want to see your name. I want to know that of …