“All day long I expendLauren Zuniga, Submissive.
I hold together, I lift up, I give out
I pour life for the food supply, irrigate crops in my mouth
It is a rare occasion where I just take in.”
You are allowed to receive.
No. You don’t have to have a counter move.
No, you’re not being asked to come up with a specific act of reciprocation.
No, in this exact moment you don’t have to plan your give back or return the favor or pass it on or pay it forward.
You just have to receive.
Really and fully and entirely receive. I’m talking throw yourself back on the bed, open yourself wide, close your eyes and take it all the way into your being.
I’m saying holy-wow-“I’ll have what she’s having”, prepare-to-feel-the-earth-move.
I’m saying, you get to AND you have permission to AND you are allowed to accept what is being offered AND feel damn good about it.
Not guilty. Not sheepish. Not unworthy. Not uncomfortable. Not undeserving. Not conflicted.
I’m saying that if you breathe with me now you can relinquish your hold on control. Just for long enough to feel that goodness for no other reason than because you want to feel it and there’s someone ready and willing to offer.
(Because when that equation lines up, love, that’s miracle enough to celebrate, right there).
So, right now, maybe someone, somewhere just wants to give you something. Something big or something small or something logistical or emotional or financial or ridiculous.
You’re struggling like hell with that, aren’t you, my sweet?
Yeah. It’s scary, I get it.
It might not feel safe, not at first.
Not when all you’re used to is give-give-giving to those who just show up to take.
Not when you’ve experienced gifts that only come with expiration dates and loopholes and paybacks with interest.
Not when you’re used to holding up the whole world in the palm of your hands and it’s been a damn long time since anyone has come along offering anything.
But is there is someone in your life right now showing up in a position to give, freely and wholeheartedly?
Without unnecessarily taxing themselves?
From a solid and grounded place of gratitude and respect?
Someone who comes without expectation or condition or and agenda. Someone who sees you and your beauty and your goodness.
Someone who honors your work and your value and your purpose and your offering to the world.
Someone who acknowledges the wonder of you and who simply wants to offer something in return…
Something you want and/or need?
Something that would make your life more beautiful or easier or bring you joy?
Something that would offer you enough breathing space to get through another day?
So tell me, dear human….
WTF are you doing blocking that shit?
You don’t get points for refusing goodness.
There is no gold medal for struggling to do it all on your own.
No prizes awarded for not allowing yourself the gift of what you want when it’s being offered with open arms.
You don’t earn extra lives by making the one you’ve been given even the slightest bit harder for a single solitary minute.
That’s some bullshit baggage we’ve been handed by this deeply broken, fucked up, transactional, tit-for-tat culture. And it needs to end now.
Yes, I know you’ve got wounds from past lives, and triggers and baggage and trauma and a ridiculous measure of stubbornness and enough pride for ten people.
We all do.
But if you’re still having trouble, remember how good it feels when you get to give from a space of solidity and truth. When your tank is filled and you know you’ve got something to offer. When you love someone or want someone or look up to someone enough to want to give them what you have. And (and this is important) when they accept it with gratitude and grace.
That shit feels AMAZING.
Truth: blocking what the universe is offering (when you know you really want and need it) you is kinda an insult. It muddies some really beautiful waters with a tangle of past shit that doesn’t have any place in your current reality. It blocks the energy flow for both the giver and the would-be receiver — and nobody gets to take in the gift.
And that, my friend, is a pity.
So do me a favor and make this one word your prayer. Your mantra. Your rosary. Your meditation. Your holy grail.
Say it with me now… RECEIVE
My-god-my-god-my-god, the pleasure.
From your partner. From your lover. From your friend. From the random intersection of serendipity and luck and coincidence. From your parents. From your mentor. From your peer. From your spouse. From the universe.
It honors the offering and the one who makes the offer. But most of all it honors YOU. Your ability to feel gratitude that overrides guilt. Your willingness to stretch into acceptance instead of control. Your worthiness. Your deservingness.
You, you bright startlight of a human. YOU.
Let it be your time.
Let it be your space.
Let the whole room and everything in it be devoted to meeting your needs.
Just for a moment.
Just long enough that you are fed.
Just deep enough that you are filled.
This is why we are all here, together.
To do what we can when we can do it.
To lift and lay down.
To offer and receive.
Whole hearts. Tender bodies. Miraculous souls.
So for the love of all things good and holy, let it in, dear human…
Lay back and surrender and let it all the way in.